Still surprised at the generosity of our kind waitress, we carefully took home Bubbers’ first dollar.
It took up residence on my nightstand until the holidays were over and we had time to delve into the exciting world of baby savings accounts.
When that time came, I poked around the internet and did a little research to see what this was all about.
Mentally, I prepared the list of things I’d need to prove my son’s existence and true identity as the Bubbers king, since he didn’t have any photo ID, yet.
“Let’s see…..,” I thought, “Hospital bracelets, ink footprints, ceramic hand print, about 2 million digital photographs, along with 42 home video tapes and let’s not forget his dried up umbilical cord that fell off….. That should do it, right?”
I gathered my supplies and told Bubbers we were going to the bank the next day!
He smiled and ran over my foot with his walker.
When he woke up the next day, I fed him and changed his diaper.
“We’re going to open an account for you today!” I explained, “What would you like to wear for your official business at the bank?”
I was surprised when he absolutely insisted on wearing his Sunday best.
“Are you sure?” I pressed, “Because I’m just gonna wear jeans and a parka…..”
He grabbed a tube of Desitin and shoved it in his mouth.
“Oh, wow,” I said, “Okay, if that’s how you feel about it….. By the way, may I have a turn with that when you’re finished?”
He rolled over and carefully inspected a piece of lint on the carpet.
I finished dressing him and between random squeals aimed at the ottoman, he begged me to take his picture.
After all, he was going to the bank like a big boy in his Sunday best.
And that just doesn’t happen every day around here.
So I willingly obliged.
“Say cheese!” I said and took a picture.
I thought he looked so nice and cute!
But when Bubbers saw the picture, he didn’t think it was quite good enough.
It didn’t do justice to his heightened level of excitement for this special occasion.
So he asked to try again.
“No problem!” I replied, “Say cheese!”
(Holy smokes! Can this kid get you laughing or what?!)
Granted, Bubbers decided he may have been a wee bit overzealous in the excitement department.
So, he asked to do it again.
This time he’d play it a little more cool.
You know, less hyper tense facial muscles and stuff.
“Say cheese!” I said again.
Oooh, the perfect mixture of laid back coolness and elevated anticipation.
Ready to tackle a monumental day trip to the local financial institution.
(What a cutie!)
After that, Bubbers suddenly switched gears and wanted to get down to business.
Show some of that green stuff.
And let the serious side of his personality take a turn.
(After all, it’s not every day that he gets a whole dollar all to himself!)
Once the dollar was sufficiently crumpled, Bubbers decided he was ready to go.
So I took him out to the car and we loaded up.
We pulled out of the garage and I wiped a few tears.
In just a few moments, my little son would become a man.
To be continued…..
(Okay, yeah–so that’s not really my couch.)
(Not that it really matters.)
(But I just thought you should know.)
(And okay–so I didn’t really cry.)
(But if I’d thought about it, I would have.)
(Okay fine–that’s not really my son, either.)
(Oh, wait, yes it is.)