Becoming Whole

When I went to church this morning, I was nervous.

It was the first time I’d gone to a big gathering of people (who weren’t strangers) since I’d had my miscarriage.

And although I hadn’t really told anyone at church that I’d had a miscarriage, many of them found out anyway.

(I guess that’s what happens when you have a public blog and have no idea who all reads it).

(And then you find out a member of your bishopric reads it every so often).

(So when you don’t show up at church one Sunday and they happen to check your blog, they find out why).

(But then you’re actually relieved that they know and you didn’t have to tell them).

(So, thank you, Chad). :)

So as I walked into the church building this morning, I wasn’t sure what to expect and I held Bubbers extra close for comfort.

And when I reached the doors to the chapel, I took a couple deep breaths and then finally opened the door.

And the minute I stepped inside the chapel, the most amazing thing happened.

I immediately felt the Spirit that filled the room.

And right as I felt it, it began to fill me.

And as it filled me, it found and patched and healed all of my holes.

All the hollow parts of my soul that had hurt and ached until there was nothing left in them.

The holes I didn’t even realize I had, because I couldn’t feel them anymore.

But the Spirit knew I had them.

And He filled them all until I felt warmth and comfort all through me.

So by the time I sat down next to Charming in our pew, I looked at him with a genuine smile.

And felt like a new person.

Who was whole.

Thank you.

PICT0024 edited

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About Heidi

Hello! My name is Heidi. I went to college and got a couple degrees. Then I worked as a Speech-language Pathologist for two years until Bubbers came along. While I loved my job and working with kids, I love my job as a mom best. I started a blog because I love to write. I’ve written stories my whole life. Deep down inside my heart, I secretly dream to be published in paper someday. Until then, I’m publishing for y’all and hope you enjoy it! Here are a few of my latest posts...

5 thoughts on “Becoming Whole

  1. I’m so glad to hear that you fill whole again. Miraculous what the Spirit can do, isn’t it? I particularly like the part about the holes you didn’t even know you had – a great illustration of how our Savior knows us better than we know ourselves. :)

  2. P.S. Oh, and speaking of your ward, my sister-in-law Amy and her hubby and two cute boys just moved into your ward. They live about 3 or 4 minutes from your house. :)

  3. Yes the Church knows how to help and heal us in times of need. The peace you feel when you connect to the spirit is beautiful.

  4. I found going to church after having a tough week really does refreshes you like having a peace of mind to know God is there. Your church members embraced you with open arms and let you know they are your friends. Just know that you are not alone.

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