Life With Three Wigglers: Questions and Answers

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Man alive, aren’t they a handsome group! :)

It just warms my heart to see all three of them sitting there together…  And I can’t believe I’m a mother of three children now!  I swear it happened in the blink of an eye!  The other night, a baby sitter said, “I remember when you were pregnant with Bubbers and now you’ve got three kids!”  I had to smile and say, “I know, I can’t believe it, either!”

But it’s true!   I’ve got three kids now and they’re all miraculously taking an afternoon nap at the same time right now, so I thought I’d answer some of the questions I’ve been getting from my friends…

So how are you doing, Heidi?  Are you just crazy busy with your three little wigglers?

I am doing really, really well!  Yes, I AM crazy busy with three kids four and under, but I love it!

My Mom always said that it got busier with each child and maxed out at three.  At three, you have lots of work and very little free time and she is right!  There is always someone who needs me or something that needs to be done.  And so far, I love it!

For some reason, I thrive when I’m really busy.  It forces me to prioritize really well and motivates me to work hard and efficiently, because it’s the only way to get everything done.  And I love being like this!  I love staying on top of the dishes and paperwork immediately, because I just have to.  And I love staying on top of my housework during naps, because then it frees me up to really enjoy and relish the children when they’re awake.  And for the first time ever, I’m actually doing what I’ve always thought would be a good idea:  waking up early to get ready before the kids wake up (and boy do they wake up early!).  But my day goes so much better, so I’m doing it and it’s great.

So, I’m glad to say that so far, three kids is suiting me really well. :)

How are you doing with the transition to three kids?  How does it compare to having one and then two kids?

I am thrilled to say this has been the easiest transition hands down!  One child stressed me out because I’d never done it before.  Two children REALLY stressed me out because I couldn’t control everything anymore.  But then I went to counseling and was able to change and mellow out.  And then I was so mentally and physically ill, tired and/or hurting during this last pregnancy that I learned how to mother when I felt awful.  And it made me mellow out even more.

I guess another way of saying it would be…  I thought I was a patient, calm person when I had one child.  Then I had two children and I had to dig a lot deeper to be patient and calm.  Then I got pregnant and my body fell apart and I had to dig way, way deeper to be patient and calm.

By the time this third child came after all I’d been through, I was surprised to find that my depth of patience and calm was already adequate.  And I was so glad!!! :):)  Because I really, really wanted to be able to handle three wigglers and I was so relieved when I found out I could.

Oh, and we don’t get out as much right now.  A friend at church (who also has three young kids) told me she didn’t get out as much with three kids and they stayed home a lot more.  And so far, we’ve done the same.  Three little ones is a lot to manage by myself…  And it only took a couple experiences of Sir Boots suddenly (and gleefully!) sprinting away from me at a park (one time while I was nursing Baby Prince!) to make me realize “getting out” was no longer a treat for me.  :)

Fortunately, we have a wonderful backyard, front yard and park next door and I can still take them out shopping (Boots can’t run away in a shopping cart!!).  So we’re able to “get out” in more controlled environments.  :)

How are you doing physically?  Have you fully recovered?

I am almost back to myself again! It took the full 6 weeks before I had all my stamina back and wasn’t sore from my surgery or subsequent infections anymore.

The only thing lingering now is a pelvic injury I sustained right before Baby Prince was born (which I’ve been meaning to post about since, well, he was born!). My pelvis joints loosen up too much and it’s gotten worse with each pregnancy. By the end of this one I could barely walk and then I sprained my symphysis pubis (one of my pelvic joints) the day before Baby Prince was born.

With the weight of the baby directly on the sprain, I literally could not walk. I could only get around by swinging the weight of my legs to propel me forward and holding onto a wall. It was extremely slow and laborious and painful. Thankfully, the C-section had already been bumped up a week earlier than planned and my mother was already in town for the delivery and was able to take over the care of Bubbers and Boots. What a blessing!

When I hobbled like that into the admissions area at the hospital, a receptionist took one look at me and bolted from her chair (and the person she was already helping) to get me a wheelchair and immediately push me to the childbirth area as if I was in labor! It made me smile. :)

And when I hobbled again from the wheelchair to the bed in my room, the childbirth nurse watched with wide eyes and then asked, “So, do you think you’ll need a wheelchair to get to the operating room for the delivery?”

I laughed and said, “Well, unless you want to wait 20 minutes for me to get down the hallway.”

“No, we don’t,” she stated, “I’ll get you another wheelchair.”

After the birth, a physical therapist visited me and recommended I wear abdominal binders and pelvic belts to support my pelvis as it healed and I should use them during any future pregnancies. She also said I needed to get realigned after my C-section healed. She was so helpful!

So, Charming bought me a walker to use at home and we left the hospital with binders and a pelvic belt. And now I am much, much better, but I still get very sore from sitting or exercising. I will be visiting a physical therapist soon for my realignment, though, so I hope to be fully healed soon!

I will never forget two events, though… The time it took about 10 minutes for me to shuffle from the parking lot into the pharmacy to buy my pelvic belt. I told Charming to take Baby Prince and go on ahead and start shopping while I hobbled the rest of the way alone with my walker. Old ladies with their walkers were passing me with ease and people were trying not to stare at this youngish looking woman hunched over her walker, struggling to get one foot in front of the other. The entrance to a store had never seemed so far away and there wasn’t a single blessed thing I could do to get there any faster. It was all I could do not to laugh outloud at the hilarity of it all!!

The other event was at home about a week later. The very first time I attempted to walk from the couch to the kitchen on my own, Bubbers saw me from the dining room and called across the house, “Great job walking without your walker, Mom!!!” Oh man! I wanted to laugh so hard, but I held it in and answered with a huge smile, “Thank you, Bubbers!!”

Are Bubbers and Boots adjusting well?  Do they seem jealous at all?

I could not be happier with how much Bubbers and Boots adore Baby Prince!

Boots loves him so completely, he can barely contain his joy at the sight of him. He is like a magnet– if Baby is within reach, Boots must be velcroed to him– labeling and touching every body part and pressing his face right up to Baby’s face so he can just stare into his eyes. It’s adorable and stressful all at the same time! :)

And Bubbers’ love for him has steadily blossomed so that now he is constantly requesting “alone time” with Baby because “I don’t get to see him that often”. Then he builds “boats” of blankets and pillows so the two of them can just lay next to each other and Bubbers can tell him all about life and who we are. :)

Not once have I seen or heard anything but love expressed for Baby and I’m so glad! Part of it may be that Baby Prince is an exceptionally good baby. He is an incredible sleeper and only wakes up to eat, get his diaper changed, smile and coo up a storm, and then he’s ready to go back to sleep again. He rarely cries and is easily contented. I have no doubt this has greatly attributed to the ease of this transition for all of us. His long naps have given me plenty of time to work and spend lots and lots of time with the other boys. It’s been a great blessing!

How is Charming adjusting?

Poor Charming always gets the short end of the baby stick– he only gets about 10 minutes or so with Baby Prince each day. Between Baby’s long sleeping and only going to me for feedings, Daddy only gets to change the occasional diaper or hold him for a few minutes before it’s time for him to go back to bed. But even still, he adores the little guy and cherishes every minute of his limited time with him. And he’s been wonderful in taking over the bulk of the older boys’ care when he gets home, so I can have a rest or focus solely on Baby. His relationship with both Bubbers and Boots has deepened as a result and it’s been so fun to see. And we both know that he’ll get more time with Baby as he grows and becomes less dependent on me.

I know it’s really soon to ask, but do you still want more kids?

Oh yes. Of course, Charming and I will decide for sure later on, but I will always want more kids.

Even with all the pain and suffering and complications, when I hold Baby Prince and feel his warm cheek on mine and breathe in his wonderful smell, it’s like everything I suffered is turned into love and multiplied a thousand times. And he is made more dear to me because of all I went through and am going through for him. And in a heartbeat I would do it all again to hold another precious child in my arms and press my cheek to theirs.

One year ago…

One year ago, I was eight huge months pregnant with the Scooters man.

Except.  I didn’t know.

I mean, I didn’t know it was the Scooters man.  I knew it was a baby.  And I knew it was a boy.  But I didn’t know the lusciousness that is the Scooters man.

What I did know was that I still thought a lot about the baby I’d lost before the Scooters man and I was scared.  Scared that I might lose him, too.  Scared to love him.  Scared to be excited.  Just scared.

So, here I was, a month away from giving birth to this precious gem within me and, emotionally, I felt light years away from being attached to him.  From really opening myself up to him and loving him like I knew I should.

One year ago, I was also car-less.  My untrustworthy car was at the mechanic.  Again.

And one year ago, I wanted to go to a playgroup…


…  At Emily’s house.

Emily is a woman from my church with a fantastic sense of humor, a love for photography, a killer talent for cooking, an adorable son named Jack, and one of the most thoughtful hearts I’ve ever met.

I met and got to know Emily after I was invited to attend a small playgroup she helped organize.  Bubbers and I loved it and we tried to attend as often as we could.  And about three months into it, we wanted to attend a playgroup that Emily was hosting at her house.

Except.  My car was in the shop, so I couldn’t get there.

So, I asked Melanie (the kind mother of Efan) if I could get a ride with her and she said, “Sure!”

That morning, Bubbers and I piled into Melanie’s car and arrived at Emily’s house.

And when we opened the door, we heard…


…  “SURPRISE!!!!” as a room full of women jumped out from behind Emily’s couches.

Well, I was definitely surprised!

Laughing, I took off my shoes.  And Bubbers’ shoes.  And then I looked around.

I wonder who this party is for? I thought as I noticed Emily taking pictures of us all.

It must be Melanie’s birthday, I realized as I looked back at Melanie.  I was still so new to the group, I had no idea when their birthdays were.  It’s strange she didn’t tell me while we were driving over here together.

I hung back to let Melanie go ahead and take the spotlight.

Then one of the women asked, “Were you surprised?”

I looked over to see Melanie’s response.  But Melanie just looked at me.

Why is she looking at me? I wondered with confusion.

“Were you surprised, Heidi?” the woman asked again.

I stared at her.

“What?” I asked.

“Were you expecting this?” she asked.

I stared at her.

“This is for me??” I finally squeaked out.

“Yes!” the women crowded around, “Who did you think it was for?”

“Well–I wasn’t sure–I thought maybe it was Melanie’s birthday…” I trailed off.

Then.  A little hope sparked in my heart.

This is for me? The possibility was still echoing inside my head.

Could it be?  Dare I hope?

I placed a hand on my belly.

Are they throwing me a baby shower? I finally allowed myself to wonder.

The little spark of hope in my heart began to fan into a little fire.

When I found out we were having another boy, I naturally assumed there would be no baby showers for the little guy.  Since we’d already had a boy, we had everything we needed and we’d just reuse it.

But now.  Here I was.  At a baby shower for me.  Me.  The mother with a heart held together with scotch tape.  A heart that wanted to open to the new life within me, but was so afraid of breaking again.

None of the women in that room knew what I was feeling.  But all I can figure is that Heavenly Father knew.  And through these incredibly kind and thoughtful women, He was giving me a chance to celebrate my baby.


And as I opened the gifts.


And held up little clothes meant for a little body.


I began to remember.

To remember what it was like to anticipate with reckless joy and abandon having a brand new little person placed in my arms.  To imagine himmy little baby–wearing this or being wrapped up in that.


And my heart was happy.


I was going to have a baby.  A dear little baby.  Who would love me.  And who would have all these new things that had been given just to him.


And celebrating it with my wonderful Bubbers King made it even more meaningful for me.


And can you believe it, Emily even asked Charming what my favorite dessert was and made strawberry cheesecake for me!


Thank you, Jessica, Chalonn and Anjee.


Thank you, Shauna, Leah and Amanda.


Thank you, Melanie.  (And Sarah and others not pictured).


And thank you, Emily.

Thank you for reaching out to someone you didn’t know very well.  Someone who was hurting.  And didn’t know how to fix it.  Someone who will always treasure this baby shower.  And the little spark it started that has fanned into a raging fire of love.  Thank you for letting me celebrate.

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