Blessings amidst the pain

July 26th, 2008

Every Sunday, my dear friend Jesse writes a post about her blessings from the week.

And every Sunday I look forward to reading them.

And I’ve often thought about borrowing her idea (without permission–sorry, Jheshe!), but never felt like the moment was right…..  Until now.

I had a miscarriage today.

And while it was easily the most physically painful experience of my life, I’d like to share the tremendous blessings that accompanied it.

The blessings that helped Charming and I both acknowledge and be grateful for God’s tender mercies.

  • Charming. He was amazing.  He was caring, understanding and a wonderful coach.  There’s no way I could have done it without him and I wouldn’t have wanted to go through it with anyone else.
  • The Wooga Man. With a single smile or a dear laugh, he could instantly lift my spirits and make me forget what was going on.  He was a constant source of joy amidst tragedy.
  • A Priesthood Blessing. When I didn’t think I could handle anymore, dear Charming gave me a Priesthood Blessing that gave me the instant comfort and assurance that I absolutely needed to get through the worst part.
  • Perfect Timing. It started before Charming went to work yesterday, so he was able to stay home and be with me and take care of the Wooga man.  And then the most painful part didn’t happen until after the Wooga man went to bed tonight, so he didn’t have to see it and Charming was able to focus all his attention on nursing me through it.
  • My Dear Neighbor Katie. At one point, I thought I was having complications and needed to go to the hospital.  So Charming called our neighbor, Katie, who was absolutely wonderful and willing to come over and be with the sleeping Bubbers while we left.  But then the pain ended not long after the phone call, so we didn’t need her to come.  Later on, she emailed and said that she and the three children with her had all said a prayer for me after Charming had called, which touched me so much and undoubtedly contributed to the relief I felt at that exact moment.  Thank you, Katie!
  • Not Taken by Surprise. Because of the ultrasound, we had fair warning that a miscarriage could happen, so we had a plan (thank you, Charlotte for telling me we needed one!) and we had a prescription for pain medication.  Which brings me to…..
  • Modern Medicine. Blessed codeine allowed me to be relatively comfortable until the end.  And then I’m fairly certain nothing on earth (except, perhaps, unconsciousness) would have eased that pain.  And even though I asked Charming to hit me over the head with our heaviest frying pan, he wouldn’t do it.  (The only thing I asked for that he wouldn’t do!)
  • Your Prayers. There is no doubt in my mind that your prayers helped all of us through this intensely difficult time.  I am humbled by your love and sincere friendships that you give to us so freely–whether or not you’ve even met us.  You are wonderful.  Thank you so very much.
  • Nature’s Course. I’m grateful that my body was able to take care of this on its own, without the need for medical intervention.  And I’m grateful for the uncanny, seemingly immediate recovery that came after it was all over.
  • The Atonement of Christ. I knew with absolute surety that Christ knew exactly what I was going through, had suffered my pains and was there with me through mine.
  • Eternal Families. While I wept for the loss of my little one, I knew the child was not lost to me forever.  But was, in reality, eternally sealed to our family because of our marriage in a temple of God.  And I knew that if the child was not able to successfully come to our family in this life, that I would be able to cherish, love and raise my child in the next life.

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14 Comments

Suzanne | 7/27/2008 6:57 am

Heidi, I wasnt sure whether to post a comment. I truly am very sorry and my prayers are with you at this moment in time. I will tell you a story one day on my blog when the time is right. Take care and my thoughts are with you and your family.

 
Wandering Nana-Linda | 7/27/2008 7:16 am

Heidi, I’m sorry. I have been thinking about you and know that this is a hard time. Nothing anyone says can take away the pain and heartache, but it will get easier. You will be blessed and He is there to comfort you and your family. We too have a little one that is waiting for us to be together one day. Know that our hearts are with you.

 
Stacey | 7/27/2008 7:59 am

I’m so sorry Heidi. My mom miscarried once and said she thought she was going to die before my dad could hurry home from work. I’m glad Charming was there when it started happening so you weren’t alone. Unfortunately the physical pain is over far faster than the emotional pain.

 
andrea | 7/27/2008 9:08 am

i’m so sorry. i wish i could be there for you, if there is anything you guys need, please let us know.
you are such a strong person and i know things will be ok.

 
Heidi | 7/27/2008 11:00 am

I’m so sorry! Good think you have such a wonderful husband to help you through it all.

 
apple | 7/27/2008 1:31 pm

I am very sorry that this happened to you. Just make sure to give yourself time to rest and mourn the loss of your little one. You will see your child again. :)

 
ERIKA | 7/27/2008 4:11 pm

Oh, hon!

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I can’t even imagine what you are going through. Don’t forget to allow yourself to go through the grieving process. You need to go through it all to heal. I am sure it will not be easy, but our thoughts and prayers are with you and I am glad you have such a good man & Bubbers to help you get through it.

We send our *tightest* hugs.

 
charlotte | 7/27/2008 4:27 pm

Oh sweetie – I am heartbroken for you. A miscarriage is a deep loss and I am so sorry that you had to experience this. That said, what a remarkable spirit you have to already be focusing on the blessings. I’m sorry the pain was immense but very grateful Charming could be there with you and Bubbers could miss the worst of it. Bless you and your tender heart my dear friend.

Oh I am just crying!

 
Kati | 7/27/2008 5:56 pm

Heidi, I am so sorry. I’ve been getting really behind on blog reading so I didn’t know anything until now. You will definitely be in our thoughts and prayers.

 
tearese | 7/27/2008 7:31 pm

I hope you will be okay, Heidi. I guess I don’t know alot about miscarriages, because I wasn’t aware that it was painful like that. We’re thinking about you.

 
Kara | 7/28/2008 8:01 am

Heidi, I’m sorry you have to go through this.

 
Lisa | 7/28/2008 10:36 am

Thanks for posting your website in your email so I could find your blog. I’m really sorry for all this heartache and pain you’ve been going through. I wish you continued blessings and peace.

 
Susy Balaz | 7/30/2008 1:57 pm

Heidi….
xoxoxoxo
Susy

 
Aimee | 7/30/2008 8:00 pm

Heidi & Charming, my heart goes out to you through this difficult time. I’m glad you are able to feel some peace and comfort during this terrible ordeal, and I hope you continue to feel it. I’ll pray for you both. If there is anything we can do for you, please let me know.

 

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