Heidi March 20th, 2008
BUBBERSVILLE- A local Applebee’s was unexpectedly paralyzed yesterday between the hours of 12:00 and 1:00 p.m. when a young boy issued a piercing shriek with a frequency so high, modern oscilloscopes had no hope of measuring it.
“I was putting a customer’s order into the computer when it happened,” reported Rachel Lindon, 29, a lunchtime server at Applebee’s, “One minute I was pushing the Fiesta Lime Chicken button and the next minute I was frozen and couldn’t move.”
Witnesses agreed that the little boy gave no warning of his intent to temporarily paralyze the entire restaurant, leaving at least 64 victims in a state of helpless immobility.
“He was such a cute little boy,” Lindon said, “I had no idea he was capable of something like this.”
The young boy was accompanied by his parents, who were also paralyzed.
“My brain froze and I couldn’t move,” said Heidi, the young boy’s mother, “Afterwards, I realized it was because of my son.”
The young boy’s parents reported that’s how their son shows his excitement.
“He really loves Applebee’s,” said Charming, the young boy’s father, “And he was just trying to tell everyone that. I don’t think he meant any harm by it.”
The Applebee’s manager who was on duty during the incident declined to comment on whether they would be pressing charges against the little boy.
“At this point, we’re just focusing on the needs of our customers,” said Carol Jeffreys, 42, lunchtime manager at Applebee’s.
Any victims who experience longterm negative effects from the incident are requested to contact the Applebee’s trauma support line at: 1-800-IT-HURTS.
- Sir Brother (formerly The Bubbers King)